15/12/2025
I don't really know who to tell this, so here it is. I'm divorced less than a year, with two kids who are my entire world. I did the whole "married young, tried to make it work, lost myself along the way" thing. When the divorce finalized, I expected to feel relief or devastation or something dramatic. Instead, I mostly felt... invisible.
On a whim, one lonely night, I joined an adult dating site. I told myself it was just to see what was out there. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I wasn't even sure I wanted to meet anyone. What I didn't expect was the attention.
Especially from younger guys. Confident, flirty, very direct. They didn't see me as "someone's mom" or
"damaged goods." They just saw me. I've met a few of them. Purely casual. No promises, no future talk, just hookups.
And for a few hours at a time, I feel desired and carefree and like a woman again instead of just a parent or an ex-wife. But afterward, the guilt hits. I feel guilty because I'm a mom and I worry this makes me selfish or irresponsible, even though my kids are safe, cared for, and never affected by this part of my life.
I feel guilty because I worry I'm using these guys to fill some emotional hole I pretend I don't have. I feel guilty because part of me enjoys it. Being submissive the power dynamic of being older and I don't know what that says about me.
Sometimes I sit alone after they leave and think, Is this healing... or am I just distracting myself? Am I reclaiming myself, or avoiding the work I probably need to do? I don't regret it exactly. But I don't feel proud either.
I guess I'm confessing because I don't fit the image I thought a "good mom" or a "healed divorcee" was supposed to look like. I'm just trying to figure out who I am now, one bad decision / fun night / complicated feeling at a time.
Thanks for reading.
Poster:
SingleMom