21/07/2008
okay, I travel a lot for my work. I've been doing it for years. Projects all across the US and sometimes with large teams, sometimes just by myself. Its a lifestyle with its ups and downs. I've been on this project in San Diego for about 9 months now and the team is about 25 people. I've known some of these people for years working off and on with many of them. Last night was a night that turned my world upside down and has me questioning some stuff about myself. I've been thinking about it so much I said, what the hell, find a way to write about it and stay anoynomous. Maybe its therapy or some crap like that. After work, some of us went to dinner like we usually do and headed back to one person's room to hang out and have few extra drinks. We all stay in one hotel (a national chain) and its a long term stay with a living room, kitchen and bedroom. plenty of room for 10 people or so to hang out. So hang out we did and over time the crowd got smaller and smaller till it was just me, kim (i'll use different names) and mike. kim hasn't got much to worry about because I'm married and mike is openly gay. he's not gay gay gay, like the stereotype gay person you see on TV or other places. But he doesn't hide it if you talk about it. He's been in a relationship with the same guy now for about 7 years. Well, it was getting late, but we were enjoying ourselves and the conversation turned to some of the finer aspects of life, porn and booze. laughing and having fun and drinking a little more than we all should have. Around 12:30, Kim suddenly decided it was time to leave. I was a little surprised but figured she was tired. Now, a few days later, I know why. Apparently, I was eyeing Mike a little and he was eyeing me back. I didn't realize it, but kim did. After she left, mike and i kept talking and flipped through the channels. a little baseball, a little news and then we settled on HBOs Real Sex. I was a little surprised but hey, we were both guys. I've been rambling on now for a while. I'll cut to it. I got another beer out of the fridge and sat on the opposite end of the couch from mike while we watched. at one point, i kind of caught him looking at me and instead of turning away, i kept looking. i was scared like you wouldn’t believe. I kept thinking, turn away, get up, say you're tired and go up to your room. but i didn't. that's what has be so freaked out. mike got a little closer and I didn't do a damm thing. I kind of wonder if that was a signal. He actually turned away first and went back to watching the show but now we were sitting shoulder to shoulder. This isn't a story about a gay guy being pushy and trying to get something. I think now he was only willing to take it as far as I wanted. Well, I did what i think was impossible for me. I said "you know, I feel comfortable right now". I wasn't, my heart was beating fast, but i said it. he kind of looked at me, took my hand and took up and kissed it. I made zero move to pull away and that's when I kissed him. Nothing deep, but it did involve tongue. I was in a daze at that point. I told myself to just screw it and go with the flow. We made out for a while and then we stood up and while we were lip locked, I followed his lead and we undid each other's belt and took down each other's pants. I was rock hard, i can't believe it. about that time, my crackberry let me know I had a text. Last thing I cared about....later found out it was Kim texting me wondering if i was still down there or not and did I need an excuse to leave. I can't imagine what she'd think if she saw us. Anyway, we sat back down and made out while we stroked each other. Finally, he got up and go something out of the bathroom. I thought he was getting a condom and i was really really scared. turned out to be baby oil. damm, he knew limits or read my friggin mind. he poured some on me and gently rubbed it into my stomach, inner legs and finally my dick. I had to stop him after just a few strokes. he poured it on him and I tried to do the same, but i doubt i was as good. he whispered for me to jack him off and i started to. a little more kissing but then he sat back and closed his eyes while i worked him. he finally came and just sat there for a few minutes. he took off his shirt and cleaned up. Now, i know what was coming next and I was still rock hard. he had me sit back and he started to stroke me. a few times he squeezed my nipples and kissed me. the dude knows how to give a hand job. way better than my wife. Well, i lasted about 90 seconds before I exploded. We laid there for a few minutes and I had to get out of there. He was cool with it. I kind of cleaned up with a paper towel on the coffee table and just buttoned up my pants and quickly left. said i would see him tomorrow. it was now about 1:30 and kim txt me again. She knew i was a night owl, plus my room is next to hers. she must have heard me go back into my room. I had to tell her. I told her just about everything. She says its just a different thing and I shouldn't worry about being gay, but its been several days now and I'm still thinking about it. I wonder if I would do it again and if I do, does that make me gay. I'll you though, I never ever thought I could get off with another dude. But it happened and it has opened me up to think differently about things.