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26/09/2012
Emily – Part 3
We slept in quite late the next day, waking around noon. I asked Emily how she was doing and she said she was sore and tire. She also told me that she was ashamed at far she let herself go and that it scared her to think about what happened. Then she told me that she was glad that I was the one that made love to her both times as she was not sure she could handle knowing that she had allowed another man to do that to her. I realized then and there that I could never tell her that in fact another man had made love to her and that she loved every bit of it. It was to be a secret that kept until after she was gone.
That night’s events scared her more and more and Emily began to withdraw sexually. She found it difficult to even let herself go with me. I could see that she had allowed herself to become overcome with guilt. It was the same kind of guilt a woman feels who has been raped. They are ashamed of what they did and what happened. It bothers them so deeply that affects their sexual relationship with any man down the road. So it was with Emily.
I called Jim up a couple weeks later and explained to him how she has reacted to that night. He said he understood and that it would probably be best if he didn’t come over for a while as he wasn’t sure what it would do to her. He asked me how I felt about that night and if I was upset with him. I told him that I had no regrets and apologized for how she has reacted. We saw each other in college, had coffee together, collected bugs together and had lunch a few times, but Jim never again came over to the house.
Over the months that followed, her guilt was such that she begged me to destroy all of the slides and any photos of her naked, even the pregnant ones. We never took anymore nude pregnant photos, only clothes. I had to light a candle and melt each slide of her and me. I had several slides and a couple of matte finish photos that I managed to hide, but thought I had lost them in the move.
Two kids and fifteen years later, Emily was struck by a drunk driver and killed. I never told her what really happened that night when she was blind folded. Jim came to her memorial and I’m glad he did. I told the girls that he was an old friend from college and that he knew their mom also. He asked about the photos and I told him that she had made me destroy them all, which was a good thing to him as he had finally married and settled down and didn’t want his wife to know anything about those two night.
Earlier this year, I found the handful of slides and photos Emily that I had hidden away. I thought they had been lost, but so glad to have found them. I have such wonderful memories of her and the times we had, including the only times with Jim. I’m sorry I can’t share the photos of Emily on the website, as they are scans of old slides and matte finished photos and the webmaster has his rules against them. Perhaps if enough of you begged him, he might allow me to share them with you. I will have to hide her face as I cannot take the chance of anyone recognizing her, even though she is gone, because I wouldn’t want to tarnish their image of her and it might cause a problem for my career. I hope you understand.
We slept in quite late the next day, waking around noon. I asked Emily how she was doing and she said she was sore and tire. She also told me that she was ashamed at far she let herself go and that it scared her to think about what happened. Then she told me that she was glad that I was the one that made love to her both times as she was not sure she could handle knowing that she had allowed another man to do that to her. I realized then and there that I could never tell her that in fact another man had made love to her and that she loved every bit of it. It was to be a secret that kept until after she was gone.
That night’s events scared her more and more and Emily began to withdraw sexually. She found it difficult to even let herself go with me. I could see that she had allowed herself to become overcome with guilt. It was the same kind of guilt a woman feels who has been raped. They are ashamed of what they did and what happened. It bothers them so deeply that affects their sexual relationship with any man down the road. So it was with Emily.
I called Jim up a couple weeks later and explained to him how she has reacted to that night. He said he understood and that it would probably be best if he didn’t come over for a while as he wasn’t sure what it would do to her. He asked me how I felt about that night and if I was upset with him. I told him that I had no regrets and apologized for how she has reacted. We saw each other in college, had coffee together, collected bugs together and had lunch a few times, but Jim never again came over to the house.
Over the months that followed, her guilt was such that she begged me to destroy all of the slides and any photos of her naked, even the pregnant ones. We never took anymore nude pregnant photos, only clothes. I had to light a candle and melt each slide of her and me. I had several slides and a couple of matte finish photos that I managed to hide, but thought I had lost them in the move.
Two kids and fifteen years later, Emily was struck by a drunk driver and killed. I never told her what really happened that night when she was blind folded. Jim came to her memorial and I’m glad he did. I told the girls that he was an old friend from college and that he knew their mom also. He asked about the photos and I told him that she had made me destroy them all, which was a good thing to him as he had finally married and settled down and didn’t want his wife to know anything about those two night.
Earlier this year, I found the handful of slides and photos Emily that I had hidden away. I thought they had been lost, but so glad to have found them. I have such wonderful memories of her and the times we had, including the only times with Jim. I’m sorry I can’t share the photos of Emily on the website, as they are scans of old slides and matte finished photos and the webmaster has his rules against them. Perhaps if enough of you begged him, he might allow me to share them with you. I will have to hide her face as I cannot take the chance of anyone recognizing her, even though she is gone, because I wouldn’t want to tarnish their image of her and it might cause a problem for my career. I hope you understand.
Poster:
Elias
